Sleep Training 2 Year Old Kids: Helpful Methods and How this Journey grew my Faith

23/2/2018

Sleep Training 2 Year Old Kids: Helpful Methods and How this Journey grew my Faith

I share tips and my experience of sleep training a 2 year old: my Daughter Maeleth Sarah Goh.

In this post, I will be sharing about my journey of sleep training my two year old (24 months old) daughter Maeleth Sarah Goh: the methods that have worked well and also how it has been a journey of faith for me.

Getting Mae to fall asleep and to sleep through the night has always been a struggle for us so far. But I feel that the sleep training progress is very encouraging - I see light at the end of the tunnel.

Yesterday, it only took Mae 30 mins to fall asleep and night - I was so happy!

By sleep training, I mean having Mae fall asleep on her bed by herself without patting her to sleep or carrying her until she sleeps.
Throughout the whole process, I am by her side until she falls asleep.

Before Sleep Training

Before we decided to start sleep training Mae, I used to rock her to sleep every night in the baby carrier.

But ever since she grew to be about 11kg, rocking her for 1 hour every afternoon and every night became very strenuous on my shoulders and back - my muscles were aching uncomfortably everyday.
Sometimes I even had to run around the house while wrapping Mae in the baby carrier for her to calm down and fall asleep.

When Mae turned 2 earlier this month (on Feb 6), we decided to begin with sleep training. We had no idea how to do it right in the beginning.

The ‘Cry it Out’ Method does not work

Mae is a smart girl. She comes up with all sorts of excuses to try to leave her bedroom - she still does.

”Where’s Ma? Ma! Ma!!!” Then she starts to force a cry and tries to leave the room to look for Amilee (my wife).

Initially I had a wrong belief: I thought that by letting her continue to cry it out, it would be effective to get her to sleep because all the crying would take a lot of energy out of her.

After letting her cry herself to sleep for a few times, she had a lot of air trapped in her body which she had swallowed while crying.
This caused her to have difficulty sleeping as she was bloated in her tummy from all the trapped air. We had to massage her tummy with "Ruyi Oil for Infants" to give her relief from the discomfort.

Then another terrible thing happened: While on the way to church service at Marina Bay Sands, I was feeding Mae her porridge in the car as it was her lunch time. The night before, she had cried herself to sleep and had air trapped in her tummy again.
Halfway through the feed, she suddenly burped really loudly, and vomited out all her food, the milk from earlier in the morning, as well as stomach juices of course - I guess the devil had a fun time that day, and i'm sure he didn't like that we were on the way for church!

Her clothes, car seat and herself were all drenched in puke. What a disaster it was! Amilee freaked out and was screaming in panic because she didn't know how to deal with the emotions caused by the accident.
On top of that, we had to buy a new set of clothes for Mae which cost a whopping SG$104 (that was after 50% discount) because all the kids apparel stores at that mall were luxury brands.
The worst part of all was having to clean the smelly, stained car seat. Amilee had to do it all while I looked after Mae. Thanks and sorry my love!

I really learnt a severe lesson that day: The "Cry it Out" Method for sleep training is just a recipe for disaster. In the short term it may seem effective for them to fall asleep quickly, but it holds terrible consequences later on.

Gentle Sleep Training begins

Seeing that the "Cry it Out" Method failed horribly, I learned to have patience when it came to sleep training for Mae.
I told myself, "Even if it takes 2 hours to get her to sleep, I am mentally prepared for it."

Well, initially that did happen with the 'Gentle' Sleep Training method. After 2 hours which passed so slowly in that dark bedroom, Mae finally went to sleep. It took so long because I made some mistakes:

1) When Mae talked to me or asked me to sing "Johnny Johnny Yes Papa" and other songs with her, I would go along with it.
I thought that by satisfying her demands, she would go to sleep immediately after. But I was wrong. The more I gave in to her demands, the more requests she had!

2) The room was not fully pitch-dark because the kitchen light was left on and it seeped into Mae's bedroom which is nearby. The light distracted Mae and prevented her from feeling relaxed.

3) Mae napped too long in the afternoons: We would let her nap as long as she wanted until she woke up on her own. That was a mistake because the longer she naps, the longer it takes for her to fall asleep at night, leading to later sleep time.

4) After noticing Mae yawn or rub her eyes in sleepiness, we did not put her to bed within an hour, thereby missing what I call the "Golden Hour" for sleeping.

I learned from my mistakes by trial and error as well as listened to good advice from fellow parents, and eventually Mae could sleep within 30 mins - 1 hour of being put to bed!

Tips for Sleep Training a 2 year old

Now I am by no means a sleep training expert, but I can share with you what has helped me in my sleep training journey for 2 year old Mae.

1) When your little one tries to talk or play with you, don't say a word.
Sometimes he or she has legitimate requests like "I want to drink water". Just fulfil the request promptly without replying in words. I always prepare a cup of drinking water in Mae's bedroom so that I can quickly feed her water without having to leave the room.

2) If your child is like Mae who has no fear of the dark, make sure that the bedroom is in complete darkness to ensure that he or she can fully relax and easily drift off to sleep with no distractions from outside.

3) Limit nap time in the afternoon - I only let Mae nap for 1 hour now in the afternoons. Wake him or her up gently and gradually.
We like to do this by playing her favorite cartoon's theme song at a moderate volume. She quickly sits up and pays attention when hearing it - it's so adorable!

4) When you notice signs of sleepiness in your child like yawning, rubbing eyes, or he or she tells you "so sleepy" like Mae does, make it a top priority to put him or her to bed within that hour. Do it within the "Golden Hour".

5) Diffusing essential oils which promote sleep in the bedroom can be helpful too. We like to diffuse lavender in Mae's bedroom, hoping that it helps her to sleep faster and to sleep through the night.

6) If the sleep training drags on for a long period of time like 2 hours, don't worry. If you're a believer in Jesus Christ who can pray in tongues, do that.
I spend the time waiting for her to sleep by praying in tongues quietly. I also choose a Bible verse and meditate on it.
That is one way to have some quiet time with God while sleep training your 2 year old at the same time.
If you are not a believer, you can always use the time to brainstorm for new ideas or plans.

7) If you're a Christian, pray with your child before putting him or her to bed. I pray with Mae every day before her bedtime. I lead the prayer, and she repeats this after me:
"Lord Jesus, thank you for the day. Please help me to sleep well in Jesus' name, Amen!" It's a simple prayer and I believe that God will honor the childlike faith and help your little one to sleep easily and well.

How this sleep training journey grew my faith

Once I stopped trying ways and means to get Mae to fall asleep faster such as by patting her back or butt, carrying her back to a predetermined spot on the bed, etc, I was able to relax and let God take over.
I learnt to stop depending on my self-effort and to instead rely on His love and grace for Mae and me.
He loves us, and is more than willing to help us in our daily life, even in mundane activities like sleep training.

I also learnt to be more patient, instead of trying to force the process to be sped up for my own convenience.
When you choose to rely on Grace, sometimes the fruits take a longer time to manifest, however they will be perfect and sustainable when they come to fruition.

I am also praying in tongues more and spending more time meditating on God's word. The average time of 1 hour taken for Mae to fall asleep on her own gives me a special time with God, to have fellowship with Him in the quiet of the bedroom.
I love that it's like our own daily time together and who knows what i'm prophesying for my own future and for others when I'm praying in tongues. I guess only our good God knows.

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Milton Goh

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5 Comments

Christina Dronen link

8/8/2018 03:26:21 pm

Thank you for sharing your journey to sleep training. It is difficult to navigate and each child may require something different.

I love how you changed course and chose to be a student of your daughter. Rather than control, you humbled yourself - truly the way of Christ.

For two year olds, I think consistency and routine are very helpful. Just like you paid attention to your daughter's cues that she was tired, you can also cue your child that bedtime is soon. Like reading a book quietly together and praying.

One of the most helpful things we've also done is take our kids for walks or stroller rides at sunset. This is supposed to help naturally cue their (and our) bodies that it's time to sleep.

Jane

1/10/2021 02:30:37 am

Rocking is a trap - I've been there! We've started pretty late, cause during the 4mo regression and it was a trap. First just few minutes, then 10 minutes, half hour... We managed to stop the circle thanks to Susan Urban's book about sleep training from www.parental-love.com We've used the first one at 5 months I think, and then, after 18 months regression I've purchased the second one and these tips saved us a lot!

Marry

1/12/2021 06:05:23 am

hey we have pretty similar story with rocking! glad it's over. of course we've ended up with Susan Urban's books helping us. she's the best!

Sadie

31/10/2021 03:34:13 am

For us the best tip ever is white noise. It's always the answer. New room - get the white noise machine out and everything is fine, sleeping at the hotel - don't forget the machine!, long party at the house - bring the machine in! That's seriously answer for all the sleeping problems. I hope it's going to work forever! In fact, I'm also grateful Susan Urban cause it was her Toddler Sleep Training book that gave us the idea to bring the white noise back!

MckinneyVia link

26/5/2022 11:01:32 am

I very much appreciate it. Thank you for this excellent article. Keep posting!