How can Your Christian Faith Help You Guide Your Children into Adulthood?

22/5/2019

How can Your Christian Faith Help You Guide Your Children into Adulthood?

In addition to taking advantage of specific programmes at universities to promote mental health, students can also rely on one powerful tool that can help them feel that they are never alone: their faith.

About the Author

Jennifer Glenn left her corporate finance job to pursue her true passion of writing. She now prefers to spend more time with her three beautiful children.

When your child becomes an adult or begins university studies, it can seem like the world is their oyster. Did you know, however that stress, anxiety, and depression are among the most common adjustment problems youths face as they cross the bridge from childhood into adulthood?

A study of over 10,000 students showed that many students can struggle with adaptive social and emotional skills, though the good news is that these issue can be overcome.

In addition to taking advantage of specific programmes at universities to promote mental health, students can also rely on one powerful tool that can help them feel that they are never alone: their faith.

What does the Bible Say about the Power of Faith?

Matthew 6:26-27 contains powerful words that students who are feeling alone, fearful, or shy, can take courage from.
It reads: “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

If your child is about to leave for university or is simply undergoing heartache, read this passage with them and let them know that God will take care of them, even when they feel most vulnerable.

Through faith, they can lift themselves out of a low point and find the motivation they need to embrace the company of friends, family, and other people who are ready to show their support.

Faith also enables children to honour God. Hebrews 11:6 reads: “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.”

Preparing Children for What they May Encounter

Parents often try to protect their children from pain, yet it is important to be honest so that they know what stressors they may expect as they get older and move away from home. One of these can be the financial cost of university.

While it is true that some courses in Singapore are subsidised (which can cut around 50% off their fees), others (private universities) can cost thousands to attend – as much as $59,000 or more. If your child would have to take a loan or get a part-time job to pay for university, one way to lower their financial load upon graduation, is to start a savings nest (as is common for parents in countries like the U.S.).

If the amount you have saved is smaller than the amount needed by your child, you can help suggest ways to lower their loan amounts – for instance, via part-time work, or by looking at subsidised options for university.

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed,” states Proverbs 15:22, and you can be that counsel for your children, sharing the financial tips you have gleaned through your years of experience.

Dealing with Emotional Upheavals

University is not the only big life change that children have to face as they grow older. As children turn 16, 17, or 18, they can fall in love for the first time, make and lose a best friend, or face big changes (such as their best friend moving abroad for university).

Disappointment can also arise when dreams and goals are not met. As a Christian, your child may have prayed very hard for something that did not come to them in the end. They may not have been invited to attend the university of their choice, for instance. Rather than deny disappointment, parents should understand and enable their child to ‘grieve’ if necessary.

They can show them support by giving their child quality time, taking them to church (where the community will also show its support), turning to the Bible for wise words that inspire. Isaiah 55:8-9 states: “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

After reading this passage with your child, you can share moments in your own life where you thought that missing out on a deal, a purchase, or a promotion, seemed like a huge disappointment, only to lead you to something better later. Through faith, your child can understand that God does have a plan, even though it does not seem immediately obvious at the time.

Mindfulness Meditation for Believers

America is currently facing a prescription medication epidemic, with many doctors over-prescribing pills for conditions like insomnia, anxiety, and pain. As mentioned above, the transition into adulthood can involve stress and anguish.

However, kids who are taught effective stress relieving techniques can feel empowered when times are tough.
Studies have shown that mindfulness meditation is one way to significantly lower levels of stress hormone, cortisol. The aim of this practise is to recognize and accept thoughts and feelings one has in the present moment - even if these are negative. The person meditating can then obtain a healthy distance from their anguish, observing it without becoming reactive.

Mindfulness meditation aims to teach people that everything is temporary - negativity therefore does not define who they are. This activity works with coordinating controlled breathing and postures. It requires intense concentration, and therefore keeps the mind and body in the present moment.

While doing this, your child can meditate on God's promises of peace, hope and a good future for him or her. For a believer, meditation is not about emptying the mind, but instead filling the mind with God's word so that all worldly thoughts and beliefs can be expelled and replaced.

Pinterest Pinnable Image: Having a Christian Faith can help your child to deal with the challenging transition from childhood to adulthood in a better way. Tap into Biblical wisdom to see how God has equipped us to have victory in Christ in all stages of our lives!

Exercise Helps Too

Physical activity is another way to effectively keep stress at bay and lift the mood. Exercise should ideally be part of your child’s life from the early years. By staying active, kids can give their mood a boost but also keep obesity at bay.
The Apostle Paul also said that physical exercise has some value (1 Timothy 4:8).

Obesity is currently also reaching epidemic status in America, and this applies to children as much as it does to adults. Exercise, alongside a healthy diet, is an act of self-respect and self-care that children should make an important part of their daily lives.

The Bible tells us that the body is a temple. Christians should honour it by consuming a nutritious diet and working out regularly. ‘Healthy body, healthy mind’ goes the saying, which makes sense considering that when our body is ill, our mental wellbeing is affected, and vice-versa.

Teaching Kids Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is extremely important when it comes to fostering good mental health, but it often isn’t given the importance it deserves. Unlike self-confidence (which depends on achievement), self-compassion focuses on kindness to oneself and on the growth that can occur when we make mistakes.

A 2019 study by researchers at the University of Exeter found that taking time to think kind thoughts about yourself and the people you love has powerful psychological and physical benefits.
Specifically, self-compassion allows human beings to switch off their ‘threat response’. When they do so, they boost their immune systems as body and mind enters a state of relaxation.

Another study showed that self-compassion can protect people from the harmful effects of perfectionism.
This is useful for kids who may not achieve the results they wish to at school, or who may feel they have to look a certain way or be as cool as peers they admire.

Self-compassion is very important in your child’s teenage years, since it allows them to embrace all their achievements and disappointments, seeing these as an important part of self-growth.

"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who don’t walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus made me free from the law of sin and of death." (Romans 8:1-2 WEB)

The Bible says that there is no more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, so if your child believes in Jesus, he or she has received the gift of no condemnation. You can remind him or her to focus on the Grace and favor from God because believers have been set free from the law of sin and of death.

Seek Professional Help if Required

Nobody knows your child better than God, and yourself. If your child is showing signs of anxiety or depression, keep a close eye on them and know when it is the right time to seek professional help.
The ‘gold standard’ treatment for these and other mental conditions, is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This therapy sounds complicated but works practically and simply.

In essence, the therapist will show your child that there is an important link between how they think, feel, and behave. To change the way they feel about something, they can start by changing one small behaviour.

While your child is receiving CBT, they may be told to keep a journal and to list down the results of the changes they have set out to effect. CBT can be very motivating and will sometimes require just a few weeks to have the desired effect.

It is also completely compatible with prayer, church attendance, and spirituality. Indeed, faith can play a vital role in keeping your child motivated and inspired.

In addition to turning to the Bible and (if necessary) therapy to help your child deal with life events as they mature, regular worship within the Christian community is key.

Studies have shown that community worship is the only group activity that promotes sustained happiness.
This is because feeling like we are a part of something greater than ourselves – in this case a group of Christians who support and take an interest in your child – can help boost mental health, wellness, and happiness.

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